Daycare Blues!

It's 8:02 AM on a Friday and I am sitting in my favorite little coffee shop with a large iced coffee and my laptop. I should be on my way to work but after the morning I had I feel I deserve a coffee, a bagel and 15 minutes to actually sit and decompress before boarding the bus to work. My morning goes one of two ways: good or bad. The way the day goes is dependent upon Sierra's willingness to go to daycare, she always goes, just not always willingly. Some days she practically leaps from my arms and runs to the plastic slide or to the out stretched arms of her teachers, today was not one of those, it was one of these: Sierra clings to my arm, leg, face, etc screaming at the top of her lungs for MAMA MAMA MAMA and trys to wrestle me for her binky. Picture trying to put a cat into a bath tub, it's sort of like that. On days like that I feel like a terrible parent but theres nothing I can do, I need to pay the bills! Sierra is a toddler she doesn't understand work, bills and 'the man' yet. So I shut the daycare door to her screams, crys and pleads and walk with my head hung low to the elevator. See how I need a coffee and a bagel now?

Two weeks from now this will all change, we are taking Sierra out of daycare. Not because we are unhappy with their care or because we can't stand the bad days but because Lauren is a teacher and it is the summer. It better for the family financially to have Lauren stay home with the baby then it would be to have her work some crap summer job and make just enough to keep Sierra in daycare. Even though I know it's our best bet I have very mixed emotions about it. On one hand Sierra loves spending time with us, doesn't seem to miss daycare on the weekends, and we have more of the bad mornings than the good ones, the daycare offered us our spot back in September if we want it, oh yeah and we'd be saving $1350 a month. On the other hand Sierra has been there 9 months and I'm sure even at 1 ½  has developed friendships and routines and I feel badly taking that away from her. I'm unsure if my feelings are valid or if these are just the first time parent worries that don't really matter. To combat Sierra losing the interaction with her friends at daycare Lauren and I have been looking into parent meet-ups for stay at home mom's in our area and believe it or not there are plenty. When I found this out I felt a bit better about the whole situation but still having separation anxiety at the moment.

I'm curious if any one reading this has gone through this same situation. What did you do? Do you feel you made the right decision? Would love your opinions and feedback!

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